A Masterful Collection
by Switchy
Summary: ~*SONGFICS*~ WOOOO I'm happy, I no longer have these songs in my head, and I was able to do it creatively and descriptively. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO for me!!! R/R PLEASE
1. I'm with You

A/N: A one shot, Sorry, this is really corny. Well, not really, but in a sense. And no, I do not usually listen to Avril Lavigne. I've had this song stuck in my head all day and I HAD TO GET IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (sorry oracle, but yeah, I stole pie's only line) LOL So yeah, I'm done for now. Please read and review.  
  
An icy breeze cut through the deserted streets as the silver clouds flooded the sky, small diamonds falling from them. Upon hitting the ground, they shattered, splashing the cold cement of the streets. Shadows hung through the buildings, giving an effect of fear to any who dare to pass; an everlasting threat.  
  
I'm standing on a bridge I'm waiting in the dark  
  
Wisps of damn golden hair flew behind her, and her sea-green eyes stared out over the river. Tears filled her eyes as she listened to the gulls sing their haunting song.  
  
I thought that you'd be here by now  
  
The sky cried for her, and lightning flashed, followed by the angry sound of thunder. The long black cape blew back, and the dim light from the streetlamps revealed her tattered clothes.  
  
There's nothin' but the rain No footsteps on the ground I'm listening but theres no sound  
  
From the corner of her eyes she saw a group of three grungy boys heading her way. Her eyes lit up in anticipation, then fell as they walked past her, not even noticing her prescence.  
  
Isn't anyone tryin' to find me? Won't somebody come take me home?  
  
She knelt down, feeling the chill of the wet ground go up her spine. Lifting the hood of the cloak over her head, she leaned back against the bridge.  
  
It's a damn cold night Trying to figure out this life  
  
Gazing at the boys, laughing and joking together, she wished she had someone, anyone for her. She watched them until they disappeared into a Lodging house. A soaked newspaper sheet landed against her side. With a hint of disgust, she removed it and threw it with the wind.  
  
Won't you take me by the hand Take me somewhere new  
  
Sighing to herself, she lay down, curling into a fetal position on the street side.  
  
I don't know who you are But I'm, I'm with you  
  
The click of shoes echoed into her mind, and she forced herself not to look up. Silence hung low in the air. She reminded herself that no one would notice, or want to notice that she or any other orphan on the streets existed. She jumped a bit when a hand lightly shook her shoulder.  
  
I'm looking for a place Searching for a face Is there anybody here I know  
  
Supporting herself on her forearm, she looked up. A pair of bright blue eyes stared into hers with pity, and she lay herself back down, trying desperately to cover herself with her cloak. It was times like this she wanted to be invisible.  
  
Cause nothings going right And everything's a mess  
  
Once again she was frightened as the unknown boy scooped her up carefully and began carrying her towards the Lodging house the boys had gone into. She thought about fighting, but decided that any human contact was better then none.  
  
And no one likes to be alone  
  
Surrounding her were boys that she recognized as the newsboys, newsies. She closed her eyes ignoring the stares of them. He brought her to the fireplace and put her down in one of the three large armchairs. The light of the fire reflected in her face, as did the warmth that enveloped her. She looked around for her savior, but couldn't see him, so she just settled back into the chair, enjoying what she had for the time she had it.  
  
Oh, why is everything so confusing Maybe I'm just out of my mind  
  
He rubbed her arm, and her eyes opened. She saw in his other hand he had a dry set of clothes and a blanket. He put them on the end table next to her, then turned to leave. Not knowing what else to do, she grabbed his hand and pulled him back. He kneeled down to her level. Biting her lips, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him.  
  
Was a damn cold night Tryin' to figure out this life Yes you, took me by the hand Took me somewhere new Now I know who you are, And I'm, I'm with you I'm with you I'm with you.  
  
A/N: So whaddaya think? Horrible? Awesome? CORNY AS ALL F*CK? Can you guess WHO the newsie boy that saves her is? Hehehehehehehe Raven knows.  
  
Oracle knows.  
  
If they don't they aren't obviously very smart ones.. THEY'RE STILL MY BUDDIES THOUGH!!!!!!!!! Well, please review!!!! K, byes.  
  
^_^  
  
~Jackal 


	2. If You're Not the One

A/N: Well, I've decided to make this a mini-series. Except for the fact that none of the fics will really relate to each other, but they'll all be song-fics. I hope you enjoy them, and I'll keep writing even if you don't because they're good one shots  
  
This Story is Dedicated to Rachel Corsini,  
A very close sister to me  
  
If You're Not The One  
  
He stood leaning against the wooden frame of the old window that looked over his part of the city. The familiar sights held a familiar haunting. In the light of the setting sun he saw couples surrounded with the familiar glow of love. In their own eyes, nothing was worth more then the one holding them. Long fought tears slid down his cheek spiting him.  
  
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?  
  
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?  
  
He wiped them from his face, but found it useless as two more followed in the quickly drying path made for them. He walked downstairs from the bunkroom and out to the streets of his home. The murmur of memory reached to his heart, and he wondered how a broken heart could beat so hard in love.  
  
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call  
  
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all  
  
A different feeling clouded in his mind. His only consolation, that she was hurting as bad as he was. The stale smell of alcohol suddenly shook him. He looked over to the bar next to him, and saw familiar faces laughing and smiling; enjoying the pleasant warmth that kept them together. One saw him and beckoned him to join them. He just gave a sigh of in contempt and walked past them.  
  
I never know what the future brings  
  
But I know you are here with me now  
  
We'll make it through  
  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with  
  
The cool night air swarmed around the rooftop and the stars shone brightly above like stage lights. Silver-white moonlight embraced her form, enhancing her pale smooth skin. Cascading down her back were long auburn waves that were almost left undisturbed by the calmness in the air around her.  
  
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?  
  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?  
  
Casting her eyes downwards, they fixed solely on a lone figure slowly moving down the street beneath her. The look of pain that took hold of her features was one that would break the heart of an angel. The loneliness, the suffering that filled both her mind and heart took hold of her consciousness and lifted her to her feet. She floated down the stairs and out the building with the grace of a royal. She followed his retreating form into the darkness.  
  
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?  
  
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?  
  
Wordlessly he turned, his amber eyes meeting her own. Her mind raced faster then words could form, and she ever-so-cautiously approached him. The emotions that exchanged themselves between the foot of air that separated them could've broken the coldest of hearts. Mainly it was warmth; the comfort of the opposites presence, the welcomed heat of love, which in turn was mixed with an intolerable abhorrence. She parted her lips to say something, but he pressed a finger to them softly.  
  
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?  
  
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?  
  
The sky shone with silver sprinkled star-dust, and warm winds enveloped the two. A silence full of question came, then passed as he closed part of the gap between them, resting his hands on her hips. Her body trembled at the gentle touch of his hands on her body, even if it was through cloth. He lowered his head to hers, keeping his lips just a breath away.  
  
I don't know why you're so far away  
  
But I know that this much is true  
  
We'll make it through  
  
She waited for the touch of his mouth against hers, but it never came. Immediately her hands slid around his neck pulling him firmly to her. The passion that filled that kiss was one unchallenged by any other. When they broke it gently, he rested his forehead against hers lightly staring into her eyes, just enjoying the feeling of having her back in his arms.  
  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with  
  
And I wish that you could be the one I die with  
  
The words of forgiveness didn't need to be spoken to be acknowledged. They knew. Deep in their hearts they knew that no matter what they'd done they'd be together forever.  
  
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with  
  
I hope I love you all my life  
  
"Please don't leave me." She whispered softly. In those moments, she seemed so frail to him. Like a child wandering the streets looking for a place to belong. Like so many of the boys that had come to the lodging house for years, each one finding their own place in their lives.  
  
"I'll never leave you."  
  
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away  
  
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today  
  
Her soft eyes lit with a laughter and joy that could turn a night into day. Their lips met once more in a swift motion, his tongue combating hers over the right of who loved the other more. He pulled her closer then it would seem possible, her chest flattened against his, and she felt the thriving need from him press into her thigh. Someone, through this one kiss, and this single embrace, she knew that he would protect her, he would love her for an eternity.  
  
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right  
  
And though I can't be with you tonight  
  
And know my heart is by your side  
  
Less then a year from that night, he stood in his best on a Sunday afternoon at the end of an aisle in a chapel. At the door he saw Spot Conlon leading his soul mate, his inner fire, to him to join the two forever. Her simple white gown flowed elegantly around her, and the light that shined in the stained window depictions reflected off of the glass diamonds sewn into the lace collar, surrounded by thick, dark curls. The words of the priest were ignored by either of them, as is such in any wedding, and the only thoughts they had were that of each other and the future that had so fortunately been bestowed upon them.  
  
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am  
  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? 


	3. Bring Me to Life

Bring Me to Life  
  
How can you see into my eyes like open doors  
  
Leading you down into my core  
  
She ran across the foggy Brooklyn bridge, tears streaming down her face mixing with the rain that surrounded her. Nothing was alive anymore, nothing seemed real. The world spun but time had stopped. She caught the pole at the end of the bridge, breathing hard.  
  
A mist seemed to be set upon the city, making everything swirl with a peculiar sort of magic, but it wasn't comforting. Her head snapped at feet behind her pounding on the cobblestone. She saw her fiancé running after her, and pushed away from the bar almost flying above the pavement.  
  
Where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold,  
  
until you find it there and lead it back home.  
  
They'd known. It was eating her from the inside out, slowly devouring her very essence of life, and it was also slowly eroding her will of life. Even her fiancé couldn't shake her from this surreal world she'd surrounded herself with. No matter where she was, her eyes had filled with an unexplainable sorrow, known only to those who knew the events.  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
He'd hunted her down for hours, and he made a final dash for her and succeeded in his attempts. His arms encircled her shoulders from behind, bidding her to stop. They tightened at her final feeble attempt to escape him, to escape reality. Their baby girl, their little Miracle. He caught her as she slid to the floor, following suit. She twisted against him, finally settling in his lap  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
Through her sobs, she managed to whisper two words.  
  
"She's gone?" Her voice left it a question, a hope to any who cared that someone would confess to it all being a cruel joke, and she would laugh along with them.  
  
"She's gone." He repeated firmly. She hid her face in his chest, letting her hot tears of pain slide down his skin soaking eventually into his shirt.  
  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
  
"Cass.." She drew her head up and looked him in the eye. Immediately she lowered hers ashamed. She'd been running form the only other person in the world who shared the depth of her grief. He[d lost just as much as she had, if not more. Her grief had made her selfish and blind. Her hands went up and cradled his face, caressing his cheeks and wiping away his own tears.  
  
Bid my blood to run  
  
She wrapped him with arms of protection and apology.  
  
Before I come undone  
  
They were in a similar embrace an hour later, his head resting on her shoulder. She tilted hers ever-so-slightly and kissed his neck.  
  
"We'll make it through somehow." She whispered soothingly, not quite sure who she was trying to convince, her lover or herself.  
  
Save me from the nothing I've become  
  
As night fell, he slid his an arm under her knees and around her back and stood, then walked slowly towards the Lodging House. She remained silent when he carried her around the back to the small, pathetic excuse for a beach. A white cross was driven into the sand, and in thin, black cursive was written out  
  
'Our little Miracle will live forever'  
  
He set her down on her feet, but her legs gave way and she crumbled to the ground. He remained behind her, and watched her shaking form crawl to the grave. The sand that glistened with the last light of day seemed to mock them, glittering above their daughter, almost laughing.  
  
She took a fistful of the sand that lay above her daughters corpse and watched it sift through her hand with the gentle caressing breeze.  
  
"I love you." Two tears marked the end of the contained self-hatred and torment.  
  
Now that I know what I'm without  
  
You can't just leave me  
  
They lay sleeping beside each other. She wore only a thin dress of black that fit her form completely and flowed out to the ground. Her arms were bare due to the heat of the summer, and she was resting on his chest, listening to the deep rhythmic breathing that told her he slept.  
  
Her nights had been tormented since the day one of the three most precious lives to her had been stolen. Guilt tormented her mind, the thought of being helpless. She'd failed to protect her own family, and that was flaking at her sanity. Carefully she pulled from his arms, and gently pulled the blanket over him to compensate for the warmth that had been shared between their bodies. The moon made her skin a pale white, and she passed a kiss from her fingers to his lips.  
  
She passed the twin sized crib that had once held two of her joys, her gaze cast to the sleeping form of her son. She slid him into her arms and kissed his forehead. He yawned and curled up against her.  
  
breathe into me and make me real  
  
bring me to life  
  
The only movement at all upon the streets was her body, slowly walking through the middle of each familiar avenue. Even the usual whore stops were devoid of life. A haze covered the sky, bleaching out the stars and leaving only a white orb hung in the sky. Her eyes remained fixed on it, and her bare feet took step after step over the cold stones to the docks. She didn't notice anything except for the moon that seemed to beckon her further.  
  
Frozen inside without your touch without your love darling Only you are the life among the dead  
  
The wood of the docks creaked in protest of her weight upon them at the pace she was moving. She stopped only a few steps in, and the scent of salt filled the air. A haunting tune flooded her mind, a gentle hum that could not be ignored.  
  
It was a lullaby that caused her tears to spill over her cheeks silently. The song she'd sung to the twins every night since their birth.  
  
All this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
  
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me  
  
A small cry woke him, and he sat up, rubbing his eyes. The noise ceased, but he knew something was amiss. The room that normally seemed welcoming, the room that'd been his home his entire life, seemed a tomb. The air was chilled, and the usual breathing from sleeping newsies had been drowned out by the eerie silence. His eyes snapped to the door when the wind blew it from its position to wide open.  
  
He then realized what was missing. He threw the sheets back and jumped to his feet, and flew to the roof. His eyes scanned the streets around him, fixing on the blond locks that trailed down her black back, and her white arms, then on where each slow step was heading. His mind raced and he took to the streets.  
  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
  
Got to open my eyes to everything  
  
He breathed heavily as he ran, his only thoughts were to reach her in time. Shards of glass cut into his feet, but it only egged him on. He saw her right ahead of him, and one arm slid around her waist and threw her back. She fell to the docks behind him, and he along with her.  
  
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul  
  
Don't let me die here  
  
"What were you thinking?!" he panted. She curled herself into a fetal position hugging her knees tightly. "I lost my daughter do I have to lose you too?" he asked, gentle this time. He pulled himself over to her and hugged her.  
  
"God I'm so sorry." She whispered in his ear. He pulled back a little and kissed her softly. His second kiss was more demanding, and his hand slid down her back and pulled her against him.  
  
There must be something more  
  
Bring me to life  
  
Hesitantly, she pulled back, unsure of her own feelings. Tingles ran up her spine as she felt his lips press to her neck teasingly.  
  
"I need you." He murmured huskily against her skin. "so don't even dare to try that again. If I lost you both I don't know what I'd do."  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
Wake me up inside  
  
call my name and save me from the dark  
  
bid my blood to run  
  
before I come undone  
  
save me from the nothing I've become  
  
"We'll make it somehow."  
  
Her freshly sprung tears drew lines in her cheeks. The guilt of Miracle's death raged in her mind like a fire. He lightly bit her neck, causing her to gasp and arch into him. He captured his prey, lightly running his tongue along her bottom lip, and as if he'd said a secret password, her mouth opened to his. He broke off leaving butterfly kisses along her jawline.  
  
"It's not your fault. Don't try to pretend that it is, or I swear, it will destroy you, and I've told you that you're not allowed to do that."  
  
Days passed, which in turn, become weeks, and she slowly let herself heal with the help from a loving fiancé who always tried his best to care for the three of them. In her leather-bound journal, she wrote by candlelight.  
  
Dear, sweet, miracle. I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you from being taken from us. I have trouble accepting the fact that you're gone, so I won't. It'll just be like we went a little while without seeing each other. Daddy's doing better then I am, and Chance misses you and cries every night, but we'll all be together soon. I understand why God would've wanted you with him, because you truly were an angel on earth. I love you, and I miss you. Until we meet again, my sweet darling baby girl, we will love you and keep you in our thoughts and prayers. You'll always live in my heart.  
  
Your Loving Mother,  
Jackal  
  
A/N: This really did make me cry writing it. I've fallen back into a depressed state (I have major depression, and for those of you less learned about that, it means that I have very high moments and very low moments. It's basically like bi-polar, except that it's between feelings). I have no real reason to explain it, but I really can't write anything happy at the moment.  
  
And finally, yes I do realize that I've used parts of lyrics from 2 songs other then the obvious stated. Therefore, I close with a disclaimer.  
  
D: I do not own ANYTHING except for myself, (Jackal), my thoughts, my creations, and the situations I put pre-made characters in. 


	4. Perfect

(A/N: yes I had to change some of the lyrics for this to work.)  
  
"Perfect"  
  
He'd almost killed her. Killed. The one bit of family he had, his own wife. He'd almost followed exactly in his fathers own footsteps, murder.  
  
Hey dad look at me  
  
Think back and talk to me  
  
Did I grow up according to plan?  
  
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?  
  
No it don't hurt when you disapprove all along  
  
Sitting in a dusty corner of the Harlem Lodging House, he was alone. Not certain that he'd chosen right or wrong, he knew he had to live by it.  
  
His mind jumped back to a time when he was little, about 4 or 5, and he saw his mother cleaning the counter, a look of fear on her face that at the time he didn't understand.  
  
They heard the apartment door slam open and then closed. His mother looked frantically around and huddled him into a cabinet and closed the cupboard closed. He knew that this was the norm, he just never understood why.  
  
"Stupid bitch!" his fathers sluggish drunk voice reached his ears.  
  
"Where's that damn boy?! Ya sendin' him off ta school? He oughta be here takin' care a da house!"  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't think. You're right." Her frantic voice arose questions in his mind. He'd never thought about it before, never considered what the reason might be that every time his father came home he was hurried into a cupboard, or a closet. He heard his mother scream after a loud slap, and he shoved himself further back, just as his mother had told him.  
  
Hours later, after the slamming had long since ceased, his mother pulled him out into her arms, hugging him close. She'd always have a bruise either on her face or arms.  
  
And now I try hard to make it  
  
I don't want to make you proud  
  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
  
I can't pretend that I'm alright  
  
And you can't change me  
  
One night when he was six, when his father had come home unexpectedly and drunk, there was nowhere for him to hide. His mother had stood blocking the doorway to the room, protecting him, and she was tossed aside like a rag.  
  
This memory brought tears to his eyes. This was the once that she fought back, the once that she'd hurt him back. It hadn't been worth her life. He sat in the corner wide-eyed and watched his own father bend over her and clamp his hands in an iron grip around her neck.  
  
Being the sneaky boy he was, he knew there was a way out for him, but he had to watch her get free. She never did. Her face turned red and her breathing ceased, until her breast fell with her last exhale. He didn't cry, nor did his father.  
  
"c'mere boy." He'd said.  
  
'Cuz we lost it all  
  
Nothing lasts forever  
  
I'm sorry  
  
I can't be perfect  
  
Now it's just too late and  
  
We can't go back  
  
I sure ain't sorry  
  
I can't be perfect  
  
Jack had jumped out the window and onto the fire escape, then gone as quickly as he could down the stairs, floor by floor, until he'd reached the bottom. He heard swearing and his father calling his name, but he just ran until he found the police.  
  
That was the day he put his own father in jail.  
  
I try not to think  
  
About the pain I feel inside  
  
Did you know you used to be my hero?  
  
All the days you spend with me  
  
Now seem so far away  
  
And I know that you don't care anymore  
  
His eyes slowly cleared from the memory, and all he could see flashing in front of him was his own hands around Raven's neck.  
  
He'd almost killed the one person he loved more then life.  
  
And now I try hard to make it  
  
I don't want to make you proud  
  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
  
I'm ready for another fight  
  
And nothing's alright  
  
But he'd left. He'd held her close, apologized to her, then gotten up and walked away. She'd never be hurt by him again.  
  
Clicks of boots against the floor approached him, and he found a piece of bread shoved in his hand and Ace kneeled in front of him.  
  
"So Kelly ya feelin' any better?" he asked lightly. Jack shook his head, his face pale and withered from not eating, the blood drained from his face from the horror of realization of exactly what he'd become.  
  
'Cuz we lost it all  
  
Nothing lasts forever  
  
I'm sorry  
  
I can't be perfect  
  
Now it's just too late and  
  
We can't go back  
  
I'm sorry  
  
I can't be perfect  
  
Ace gently nudged his hand, but no motion came afterwards.  
  
"Look Jack, I know that you fucked up. I don't know what you did, but you fucked up bad if you ain't in Brooklyn or Manhattan." Ace said angrily.  
  
"But I will not see my friend die! EAT IT!"  
  
Jack sighed, and brought the cursed food to his lips.  
  
"Jack I care about ya, and I know you got people everywhere around here that care about ya. Ya can't give up like dis. Remembah dat." Ace left him to his thoughts. He heard a frantic banging on the door downstairs. "I'se comin, I'se comin'!"  
  
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said  
  
Nothing's gonna make this right again  
  
Go ahead, turn your back  
  
I can't believe it's hard  
  
Just to talk to you  
  
But you don't understand  
  
Frantic words were jumbled together, and the only ones he could understand were a muffled 'Jack' and 'Raven'. Seconds after, he heard a blow received by Ace and someone running up the stairs. He looked up to see Jackal, then looked back down at the bread and threw it across the room. Great, she'd come to rub his stupidity in his face.  
  
Surprising him, she knelt in front of him and lifted his chin panting. She looked to be in worse shape then he did, and she'd lost weight, enough that she looked almost disgustingly thin.  
  
"Jack." Her raspy voice sounded as if it hadn't been used in weeks. "Ya gotta go ta Raven!" He pulled his head down, but she brought it up again, panting. "SHE'S GONNA DIE YOU TWIT NOW GET YOUR ASS OVER THERE!"  
  
He wasn't going to make the mistake his father'd made. He wasn't going to kill Raven, be it physically or psychologically. He raced out the door and towards Manhattan.  
  
He looked around the shocked room full of newsies until he saw Raven's limp form huddled on his bunk. He breathed deeply and took her in his arms.  
  
" . . . Jack?"  
  
"I ain't nevah lettin' you outta my sight again." He said firmly, then kissed the top of her head.  
  
'Cuz we lost it all  
  
Nothing lasts forever  
  
I'm not sorry  
  
I can't be perfect  
  
Now it's just too late and  
  
We can't go back  
  
I'm not sorry  
  
I can't be perfect 


	5. If I Was The One

If I was the One (shortened version)  
  
The room bustled with the mixed voices and laughter of both the Brooklyun and Manhattan newsies playing poker. A dark haired girl sat in Jacks lap instructing him on how to play his hand. To the right of him were Pie and Oracle, also wrapped in each others arms. He peered around the room, watching silently like a hawk looking for it's prey. His eyes settled on a clear solemn face. Golden waves fell to her mid-back, and Spot's arm encircled her waist protectively. His eyes met Spots, which were burning with a jealous rage. He quickly averted his eyes, but through his eagle vision he watched Spot kiss her neck, and her head tilted submissively, allowing his invasion.  
  
I see the way he treats you  
  
I feel the tears you cry  
  
He stood, jammed his hands into his pockets, and slipped out of the bunkroom and down the stairs. He crossed the lounge, escaping into the not so fresh night air. He kicked a rock as he walked.  
  
'Life just ain't fair.' He thought to himself. He was grateful though, she'd been his for a few days. He reminisced the awkward relationship they'd shared. Of course he'd known deep down that she'd go back to Spot, even after all he put her through.  
  
And it makes me sad  
  
And it makes me mad  
  
There's nothing I can do baby  
  
'Stupid love.' That made his mind push back to when he'd first realized it. He'd been strangely attracted to her from the moments he'd realized that she was indeed a girl. All of the newsies had taken her for a guy when Oracle had brought her in and introduced her. He, Oracle, and Snoddy had been the only ones to figure out her true identity. He'd wanted so badly to talk to her, to ask her if she'd date him, but who was he in comparison to Jack Kelley or Spot Conlon? Nobody.  
  
He hoisted himself up on the cold statue in Central Square and leaned his head back against the statues knee. 'She woulda shot me down anyway.' He mused.  
  
'Cause your lover is my best friend  
  
And I guess that's where the story ends  
  
Still, a voice in his mind nagged him about her reply to his irrational comparison. She'd stood up for him and told him that had he said something, everything would be different. Chance wouldn't be the living proof that she was Spot's girl. It was too late by the time he'd gathered up the courage to talk to her. He buried his face in his palm.  
  
"I'm a fool."  
  
"Jake?"  
  
But I've gotta try to keep it inside  
  
You will never be, never be mine but  
  
If I was the one who was loving you baby  
  
The only tears you'd cry would be tears of joy  
  
"Jackal." He said in mild shock. "What are you doin' out hea?" She took his hands and he pulled her up next to him.  
  
"Beautiful night, isn't it?"  
  
"Jackal, what're ya doin' out hea?" he repeated.  
  
"I don't know." She pulled out a cigarette and lit it. After taking a long drag, she said, "Jake, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything." He looked at her confused. She sighed exasperatedly. "I'm sorry for toying with you okay? It wasn't right. You're human, you have emotions like everyone else and the only person I thought about was myself. I'm sorry for that!"  
  
And if I were by your side  
  
You'd never know one lonely night  
  
And if it were my arms you were running to  
  
I'd give you love in these arms of mine  
  
They sat in an awkward silence. Neither of them had expected what she'd said, but she was right. She had been selfish, she did use him, and well, she didn't love him. He smiled sadly, he already knew all of it. But somehow, in some twisted, distorted view of his mind, he still loved her, even through all of that.  
  
He knew that if he were given the choice a million times, he'd still make the same decision.  
  
It was then he noticed that she was crying silently. Hesitantly, he draped an arm around her shoulder and scooted next to her. She leaned her head on his shoulder, the tears continuing to fall.  
  
"It's not in the same way, but I love you." She said softly. She wiped her eyes and laughed nervously. "Come back in with me."  
  
They walked in, hand in hand. All eyes wandered to them, then turned back to what they were doing, all eyes except for those of Spot Conlon. He stood, sliding his cane out of his belt loop.  
  
He watched her face remain calm, and knew she wouldn't let Spot hurt him. A grin tugged at his lips when she squeezed his hand, then let it go. He watched her slink up to him, sit him back down, and sit on his lap, kissing him hard and pressing her body to his tightly.  
  
He wasn't jealous, he wasn't. He'd heard the three little words he'd wanted to hear since he met her, and nothing could change that. Not Spot Conlon, not Joe Pulitzer, not even the King of England could make her take her words back.  
  
He laid back on his bunk and smiled with contempt.  
  
If I were the one in your life  
  
A/N: Well, other then the next songfic, which is halfway done, I'm through with trying to write newsie stuff. And yes, this is a shortened version of the song. I just needed that much to get that idea out of my head. KK, well, the next songfic will also include who each songfic involves, but if you read Oracle, Raven, or my stories, then you'll be able to figure it out ^_^  
  
BY THE WAY  
  
Hellen Waite is in charge of my complaint department.  
  
If you have a complaint, go to.  
  
Hellen Waite.  
  
For the rest of you, reviews are MUCHO appreciated! 


	6. Irish folksongs for me, not by me

"I've been a wild rover for many a year..."  
  
1899, New York.  
  
We're all these immigrant children, fighting to live on the streets of New York.  
  
Fighting a losing battle. Losing a battle we shouldn't have to fight so young.  
  
"The minstrel boy to the war is gone In the ranks of death you will find him"  
  
My boys give up all the time. Giving up their life and dying, or giving up their freedom to be taken to jail- the one place where a roof over their head and three meals a day is a sure thing.  
  
Hey, I didn't say they were good meals. Just that they were a sure thing. And the whippings you get each day are better than staving to death.  
  
At least, to most they are.  
  
'Grief and pain are all I know My heart is sore, my tears do flow..."  
  
You survive on the street by becoming known. By becoming feared.  
  
Everyone knows Spot Conlon. And although they may not admit it, everyone fears Spot Conlon.  
  
Because I know how to live this life. I know how to own the streets. Kelly doesn't. Hunter doesn't. Even Tabloid, my second, doesn't. Although he can bluff it well.  
  
You put yourself up on a pedastol above all the others. I care about me. Not anyone else. I care about Spot Conlon, not whoever I happen to be dating-  
  
"The devil take the women, for they never can be easy"  
  
Not whoever I happen to be in an alliance with.  
  
I care about me. And that's it.  
  
Unless...  
  
"Her eyes they shone like the diamond You'd think she was queen of the land And her hair hung over her shoulder Tied up in a black velvet band."  
  
I grinned. "Sure, we always have room for the girl who kicked Jack Kelly's ass."  
  
Jackal smiled and, without thinking, I leaned down and kissed her.  
  
"l once had a wee lass and I loved her well, I loved her far better than my tongue can tell..."  
  
She left.  
  
I know how to live this life...  
  
"Then I dreamt last night that my love came in , And she walked up so soft that her feet made no din. I thought that she spoke and those words she did say, "It won't be long now, love, till our wedding day."  
  
She leaves again, taking the triplets.  
  
I know how to live this life...  
  
I sit here, with my son Chance sitting on my lap and a drink in the other hand, and think.  
  
I knew how to live this life.  
  
I will find out how to again.  
  
I lie to myself all the time.  
  
But I don't believe me. 


	7. I'd Do Anything

I'd Do Anything  
Author: Jackal/Switchy  
  
Another day is going by

I'm thinking about you all the time

But you're out there, And I'm here waiting

Cara was angry. She'd run away from the South after being abandoned by her older sister, Cassandra. Now, after nearly two months of searching New York for Cassandra Turner, she had found nothing. She'd checked every alley, and even the death listings. She sat against a wall, her hands balled up into fists.

There had been a time that they had been so close that the only thing separating them was their blood, and being cousins, they still shared some. Cassandra's mother had deserted her in the South, leaving her with her uncle, his wife, and her cousin, Cara. For that time, until Cassandra had run away to New York in search of her, she had been her consort. The one she'd talked to, cried to, and become close to. What Cassandra hadn't realized, was that Cara had begun to look at her as her older sister.

And I wrote this letter in my head

'Cause so many things were left unsaid

For the first few months, she waited, sure that her 'sister' would come back and take her, or send her a letter, or try to tell her in any way that she was okay. But she didn't. Cara found that her newfound sister had disappeared. She wasn't exactly okay with that. She'd packed up some money and left to find her.

But now you're gone, and I can't think straight

This could be my one last chance to make you understand

Cassandra had been her consort too. When she fought with her own mother, she had gone to her. When there'd been anything at all bothering her, Cassandra was there to listen. Without that she thought she was going mad.

I'd do anything just to hold you in my arms

Try to make you laugh, somehow I can't put you in the past

I'd do anything just to fall asleep with you

Will you remember me 'cause I know I won't forget you

She looked up, angry tears in her eyes. She'd come all this way, and she hadn't find hide nor hair of her cousin. A sight came to her eyes. A smiling face with her green eyes, with her blond hair.

"Cassie!" She called. The blond froze, and turned, a look of sheer venom in her eyes.

"NEVER CALL ME THA-." She stopped in mid sentence. There, sitting on the corner against that wall, was little Cara. Word escaped her. The exact reason that no one could ever call her 'Cassie' was sitting on a corner, looking heartbroken, and in reality pissed off. With her were a few newsies, that she herself knew as Tabloid, Spot, and of course, Raven.

Cara looked at the Italian newsie, and was angered. She stood and stormed over to him.

"I ASKED YOU IF YOU KNEW CASSANDRA TURNER! YOU SAID NO!" she screamed, shoving him back.

"She ain't Cassandra ta no one, and she said if anyone ever asked, we should cover her back. So shove off!" Tabloid said, justified. He turned to Cassandra. "Jackal, you want me ta get ridda her?"

Jackal hadn't moved from the spot. She was lost in memory.

Together we broke all the rules,

Dreamin' of dropping outta school

And leave this place but never come back

Jackal wordlessly took Cara's upper arm and dragged her towards the Brooklyn Lodging House. Spot, Tabloid, and Raven followed her. She pulled her up the stairs, and to one of the back rooms. She threw her in there, following her, and slammed the door shut, locking it.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHY AREN'T YOU AT HOME?!"

"YOU LEFT ME!"

"TA FIND MY MUDDAH! I THOUGHT YOU KNEW THAT!"

So now maybe after all these years,

If you missed me have no fear

I'll be here, and I'll be waiting

Cara didn't know what to say. She had thought they were closer than that. She had been so sure that her Cassie had missed her, that she would welcome her with open arms.

"I could've went with you! Cassie, you didn't even write to me and tell me how you were!" Jackal tensed.

"If you evah call me 'Cassie' again, I'll throw ya out on the streets." Cara looked as if someone had slapped her. Jackal rolled her eyes. "Look kid, time on the streets changes someone. I ain't Cassandra Turner no more. I'm Jackal Turner, I'm queen of Brooklyn, or damn near it. I can't take care of ya no more. I got alla Brooklyn ta worry about."

This could be my one last chance to make you understand

And I just can't let you leave me once again

"But I thought sisters always took care of each other, no matter what." Cara replied softly. "Can you really have changed that much that you don't love me anymore?" Jackal sighed.

"Cara, it's different now. I can't go back ta the way we lived. I hated it. And my Muddahs' dead. Does that 'xplain anything at all to you?" Cara got up and hugged her. Jackal looked down in shock, but when Cara made no move to let go, she let herself hug the girl that had been a sister to her for so long.

I'd do anything just to hold you in my arms

Try to make you laugh, somehow I can't put you in the past

I'd do anything just to fall asleep with you

Will you remember me, 'cause I know I won't forget you

"I'm takin you to the trains tomorrow mornin'. I'll pay for yer trip back." Jackal said quietly. Cara let go and looked up at her.

"You're coming with me aren't you?" Her eyes followed Jackal, who began cleaning up the room for her. The ignorance of the question surprised Jackal.

"No. I am nevah goin back to Georgia. Ain't gonna happen. But you're goin home to yer family." Cara turned and punched a wall.

"DAMNIT CASSIE! YOU ARE MY FAMILY!" Cara said, the tears in her eyes over flowing. "I CAME FROM GEORGIA TO FIND YOU! Doesn't that mean something? Anything at all to you?"

I close my eyes

And all I see is you

I close my eyes

I try to sleep, I can't forget you

I'd do anything for you

"It means you gotta grow up. People change, Cara. They really do."

I'd do anything just to hold you in my arms 

Try to make you laugh, somehow I can't put you in the past

I'd do anything just to fall asleep with you

I'd do anything to fall asleep with you

I'd do anything, there's nothing I won't do

I'd do anything, 'cause I know I won't forget you

A/N: This is dedicated to my buddy Cara, who is just ewly introduced to 'Newsies'. She wants to steal my spot. I will NOT let that happen... This is her introductory fic... Please review it 


	8. Friends Forever

A/N: So I'm sittin on my ass watching Center Stage when I realize I haven't written a songfic in a long long time so I'm decide to write one at like 1 in the morning. It's all good. Raven dearest, this one is yet again, for you. But anyway, there are two more on the way... One for my sapphy and one for my oracle/pie ness, because I think they both deserve their own freygan songfics. And I know it's not the best song, but you know what fuck off lol. Anyway, here it is...  
  
Friends Forever  
  
For Raven (even though a lot of it is about me mwuahahahahaha)  
  
Remember when we used to talk all night?   
We didn't get much sleep  
  
I stand in the doorway to her room, letting her cry silently. Raven, ex- queen of Brooklyn, never cries.  
  
Talkin' 'bout and plannin out our lives   
And who we're goin' to be  
  
"It's okay to love Jack, Ray." She looked up at me, horrified.  
  
"Why are ya even sayin' that? I don't love Jack, I love Spot." she says quickly, wiping her face. I smile sadly at her.  
  
"It's okay to lie to yourself, but don't even try to lie to your best friend." I reply, sitting next to her. "It's okay. You don't choose your feelings."  
  
Things were so much different then   
Our lives have changed so much my friend   
But you and I will always believe  
  
I watch her walk defiantly up to Jack Kelly, head of the Manhattan newsies. She looks him in the eye, grabs his neck and pulls him to her. I roll my eyes and shove my hands in my pocket. Time to walk away.  
  
'Cause we'll be, you'll see; we'll be, we'll be friends forever   
We'll be, you'll see; we'll be like Thelma and Louise   
We'll be, you'll see; we'll be friends forever  
  
I'm reading back in my journal now as I sit in the room that Raven and I used to share. She spends most of her nights in sleeping innocently with Jack now, so it's become my room. Oracle's is right next to it. I flop on my back, remembering back to the days that I thought that someday I might be where Raven is now. What can I say... Jack is Jack.  
  
I know that he's been hurtin' you   
I've known for awhile  
  
The day finally comes where I can't hold back my rage anymore. I slam my fist into Kelly's drunk face and watch him sprawl back, shoving the bunk behind him backwards, allowing him the space to fall. He'd hit Raven one too many times while drunk, and she never said a word to me, thinking it would upset me.  
  
Yeah it upset me, upset me to the point that I continue to beat the shit out of Kelly just for making my best friend, my sister in every way except blood, lie to me. She looks up at me with a silent gratitude. Safe to say, I'm now on the street heading towards Brooklyn. It's a long shot, but I just might be able to convince the one and only Spot Conlon to let me have a place to stay.  
  
Now you've found love in someone new   
I can see it in your smile  
  
I walk into the Brooklyn Lodging House, and yell "Anyone here?"  
  
Tabloid, Spot's Right-hand man, peeks his head around the corner. "Yeah?" he asks, half-interested, then adds, ""heard about Kelly. Nice one- that bastard deserved a fist to the face a long time ago."  
  
I grin at him, amused, then ask him if he can get Spot. The dark Italian nods, and disappears once again.  
  
"Well, if it ain't Jackal-goil." Spot Conlon saunters down the stairs, calm and cool. He looks me up and down then adds, "Well?"  
  
"Well, you heard about Kelly, right?" Spot nods, a hint of a grin plays at the corner of his lips. "Well, I got kicked out. I need a place to stay." I pause before going on, and sigh. 'Well, I was wondering if I could stay here."  
  
The grin that has been playing at his lips finally breaks free, and he grins widely. "'Course you can. We'll always have room for the girl who kicked Jack Kelly's ass."  
  
I laugh, and he does so also. Then, without any word, he leans down and brushes his lips against mine.  
  
I swear your secrets safe with me   
Won't tell nobody what I see   
What you need is perfect trust in me  
  
It's hell breaking loose on her face as I explain why I'm holding Spot's hand and why he's grinning at me with that special little look. She looks betrayed, hurt, and lied to.  
  
Funny, I had those exact feelings when I realized what the bruises on her arms were really from. When I watched him hit her repeatedly. When I watched her take it with no self respect. True, situation varies a little, but all in all, same feelings invoked.  
  
We all need someone we can trust   
A friend of our own  
  
Jack takes her hand in his, appearing from no where. She's not alone, I'm not alone. We both have men in our lives that we love. We're both... happy.  
  
I swear your secret's safe with me   
You're not alone  
  
I look around and see the couples faces; Oracle sitting in Pie's lap, Elizabeth and Blink playing pair blackjack against Race and Sapphy, Mouth and David, Sylvan and Coda, Alaska and Mush. It seems like we've all hit a romantic little trip. But this time, I'm not alone. Raven doesn't have to support me, and I don't have to support her. We hold each other up because we want to.  
  
Together, forever, You can depend   
Together, we will fight 'til the end   
  
R/R please  
  
Carryin' the banner,  
Jackal


	9. I Hate Everything About You

A/N: Finally, the long awaited O/P story. Jesus, it took forfucking ever, but it's FINALLYFINALLY DONE! YAY! And Oracle likes it. Yes she does. So do I. Oracle's a whore. But we all knew that. So here goes....  
  
Everything About You  
  
For Oracle and Pie  
  
Every time we lie awake   
After every hit we take  
  
Pie sat out by the ring, watching two semi-muscled guys beat the hell out of each other. The night prior he'd been kicked out of his girlfriend, Oracle Donovan's room, for trying to make her feel better. She'd been told by the police that her twin brother, Snoddy, had been murdered. She was also told that they had no leads, and no idea why it had taken place.  
  
Every feeling that I get   
But I haven't missed you yet  
  
He could understand her being upset by it. What he couldn't understand was why Blink came out of her room at near four in the morning missing a shirt and with his hair ruffled up. He had yet to talk to either of him, and being the shy one, he was beginning to doubt anything could or would be brought up about it.  
  
Every roommate kept awake   
By every sigh and scream we make  
  
"Pie," a female voice behind him said quietly. He turned around to see a short, very curvy looking girl known to him as Raven. He stared at her blankly. "Oracle sent me out hea ta find you. She wants to talk to you." He inwardly laughed; laughed to the point that tears actually came to his eyes. "Pie, I think she's going to apologize foah kickin' you out last night. I really do. She's sorrier 'n I've evah seen her."  
  
'Leave it to Raven to assume somethin' that ain't thea.' He thought to himself as he followed her back to the Lodging House.  
  
All the feelings that I get   
But I still don't miss you yet  
  
He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her tear- stained face look up at him. Raven closed the door quietly behind him and he could hear her footsteps echo across the wooden floor. He shoved his hands in his pockets and watched her.  
  
"So..." She looked away, pushing her hair behind her ears.  
  
"Pie, I gotta talk to you about somethin-" He forced a small smile, his anger building up inside of him. She had no right to try to make it sound less than what it was. He ignored the urge to run up to her and shake her, but instead wrapped his arms around her, lowering himself to sit by her.  
  
"It's okay that you threw me out. I know you're upset about what happened with Snoddy." He saw her inwardly wince at the name. She shook her head.  
  
"Pie, I love you. I really do. But last night-"  
  
"Last night I was tryin' to hard to make you feel better." he said quietly, waiting for the blown up confession.  
  
"Pie I slept with Blink." 'Took you long enough to spit it out whore.' He removed himself and stood, walking to the other side of the room, leaning on his forehead on his arm against a wall.  
  
"I'm not as stupid as you think Oracle." He could almost hear her face fall. "I've known this entire time. I wanted you to tell me. I didn't want to see him walk out of your room at four in the mornin. I wanted to hear it from you." He slammed his fist against the wall and turned on his heel. "'Cause now I can call you a whore to your face. Now I can tell you to follow Jackal 'n Raven to Meddas; I can tell ya to go join the two-bit whores on the corner!" He spat. He felt her eyes follow him out the door.  
  
Only when I stop to think about it  
  
Pie walked up to Kid Blink, who was about to leave the bunk room at seeing him come out of Oracle's room, slamming the door behind him. He grabbed Blink's shoulder, and saw him prepare for a fist to the face.  
  
"It wasn't yer fault, and I ain't gonna blame ya for it. I ain't got nothin' against ya Blink." Blink's good eye widened in surprise. An ackward silence followed. What do you say to your friend after you've slept with his girlfriend? Blink said the only thing he could think to say.  
  
"I'm still sorry foah it."  
  
"You still should be."  
  
I hate everything about you   
Why do I love you  
  
A week rolled by and Pie drank like a fish for the first half of it. No one bothered to stop him because they knew that nothing could. Then he wisened up, and he just went back to his normal routine of not talking much to anyone but doing what was expected of him. He walked into Tilley's, a passive expression on his face. He slid into a chair and flagged the waiter for a drink.  
  
"Swift, where were you last night?" Swifty looked up at a short Italian boy known as Racetrack Higgins.  
  
"I... wasn't... anywhere...." he said nervously. Race's brow furrowed.  
  
"I mean pokah night ya twit." The boys laughed, and Swifty just stared down into his drink. "Jackal and Spot were gone, Blink finally got that 'lizabeth girl to go out, Jack was lookin' for Ray, and then you were gone."  
  
"Oracle wasn't there either, was she?" Mush said, taking a gulp of his drink. Race shook his head, then a grin crept across his face. The same realization dawned over Pie, but there was no joke in it.  
  
"So Swift, ya finally got laid, eh? Be glad that her bruddah can't kill ya foah it."  
  
Race joked to lighten the mood, and everyone knew it. All of the boys missed Snoddy in their own way, and he was known for threatening any guy that came near his good, keeps-her-legs-crossed, sister. Swifty's face turned a deep shade of red. Pie rose, his glass slamming down on the table. His eyes were dark with jealousy and rage. He grabbed Swifty's shirt, picked him up almost effortlessly and dragged him outside. The boys faces were pressed against the glass as they watched Pie kick him in the stomach and then deal repeated blows to Swifty's face and chest.  
  
I hate everything about you   
Why do I love you  
  
Oracle had been shocked when Swifty was carried by Race and Mush back into the Lodging house. Shocked at first by the condition he was in, then second by who had done it. Swifty had refused to even talk to her after that happened for days. It pissed her off. They weren't dating, and he was still ruling her life.  
  
Only when I stop to think about you, I know   
Only when you stop to think about me, do you know  
  
He'd tried to ignore her attempts to hang over Swifty, who had healed to the point that the bruises were turning a light yellow-green on his face and shoulders. Swifty had ignored every move she'd sent his way, and Pie'd seen about all he could take. He grabbed her wrist, despite her protests and pulled her up. He then shoved her into her room, closing the door behind him.  
  
"PIE EATAH WHAT ARE YA DOIN!?!" She half screamed at him. He crossed his arms.  
  
"You once told me how much ya hated that I nevah spoke up foah myself. I'm doin' it." he said, shoving his face in hers. "And if ya don't like it, too bad."  
  
"We ain't datin anymoah!" she shot back. "So you ain't got no claims on me!"  
  
"As much as I hate what ya doin, hate how ya fuckin' every guy in 'hattan in ordah, I still find myself thinkin' that there's still somethin you have of mine that you ain't given back yet." She crossed her own arms and stood up defiantly.  
  
"And what would that be?" For a moment, his face looked tired.  
  
"My heart." he said flatly, no emotion breaking through. The funny thing, he realized, was that it wasn't that he was hiding the emotion anymore, it just wasn't there.  
  
I hate everything about you   
Why do I love you  
  
"Just take it back then. Stop carin'." she said, her eyes almost pleading with him. He shrugged before turning his back on her.  
  
"When you figure out a way how, let me know." He said, leaving her speechless and alone. She didn't come out of her room again that night.  
  
You hate everything about me   
Why do you love me   
  
R/R please...  
  
Carryin' the banner,  
Jackal 


	10. Somebody To Love

**Can anybody find me somebody to love?**

Raven Beaufonte. Doesn't sound like much does it, doesn't sound like there's anything special about her does it? Well, considering as that's my name, I'd have to say there's nothing special. Can't really claim to be God's gift to the streets of New York now can I?

Well, let's give you an inside view of Raven. We'll start with her family.

He threw me into a wall, blood already poured from my nose by then. I was shaking, and then the bitter metallic taste filled my mouth. I'd bit through my lip to stop myself from crying. You truly couldn't count the bruises.

**Each mornin' I wake up I die a little; Can't barely stand on my feete  
Take a look in the mirror and cry; Lord what you do to me**

What can I say, Hunter sold me out from the minute I turned old enough to know what it was to be a whore. Maybe even before that. I guess that's where this shit started. You'd think that would be enough to break any person, sold by your only family. Nah, I'm made of something tougher than that. A lot tougher. Or so I'd like to believe.

**I have spent all my years in believing you; I just cant get no relief  
Lord somebody, somebody; Can anybody find me somebody to love?**

What can I say, a girl can only take so much. After a few years of whorin' for free in the Bronx, I found myself on Medda's doorstep. Then of course, I meet the one and only, Spot Conlon. Bastards one out of two men who've ever gotten my trust, or who ever can.

Yeah, I'm typical. For a while, the sun revolved around him and still had time to shine outta his ass. I dunno where things went bad, but they did. Then little miss Jackal Turner shows up outta fuckin' nowhere. Spot goes back to bein' a friend, seein' as little miss Turner woulda tried to beat the livin' shit outta me. Heh, I coulda taken her.

**I work hard every day of my life; I work til I ache my bones  
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own**

I got into the girl's business after we finally started getting along. I was a showgirl at Meddas, hell I still am. But yep, you guessed it, I fell back into a bad crowd, and a worse guy.

**I get down on my knees and I start to pray  
Til the tears run down from my eyes  
Lord somebody, somebody; can anybody find me somebody to love**

Coda Conlon, Spot's older drug-dealing brother. Held me up for a while, I stayed at his place. I thought things were goin alright, that the shit-life was over, and I was starting over new. I was wrong.

Go figure.

**Everyday – I try and I try and I try; But everybody tries to put me down  
They say I'm going crazy; They say I got a lot of water in my brain  
Got no common sense I got nobody left to believe**

He walked in drunk off his ass. Normal night. I was laying down on the broken down piece of furniture that was the bunk. He grabbed me by the arm and threw me across the room. Apparently I look good flyin, as it happens a lot.

**Lord somebody, somebody; can anybody find me somebody to love**

I didn't walk away that time, it took dragging from Jackal and Spot to get me away from Coda. Doesn't stop him from 'dropping by' occasionally though.

**Got no feel, I got no rhythm; I just keep losing my beat  
I'm okay, I'm alright; Ain't gonna face no defeat  
I just gotta get out of this prison cell, someday I'm gonna be free**

So you've found me here. In my dressing room. Yeah he just left. My eye is swelling shut. Doesn't matter. I thought I knew what I was doing. I got in over my head. I put a damp cloth over my eye, and let tears fall out of the other. Someones at my door. I look up in the reflection of the mirror.

"Jackey-boy?"

**Lord find me somebody to love;  
Find me somebody to love  
Can anybody find me somebody to love**

"Oh Ray…" He's holding onto me, and I hope he never lets go.


End file.
